Book Review: Everything Is Perfect When You’re a Liar by Kelly Oxford
by Kelly Oxford
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, 2013
This book made me feel like an old fuss-budget. I just can’t relate.
Don’t get me wrong—it’s not a bad book. It’s exactly the right book for many people; it’s just not the right book for me.
As a precocious six-year-old, Kelly Oxford dreamed big and ordered people around. I was so timidly shy as a child I wanted to meld into the book shelf at the back of the classroom and disappear. I just can’t relate.
A teenaged Kelly Oxford looked like Kate Moss and she could eat all the McDonald’s food she wanted without gaining a pound. Like most teenaged girls, I fought a daily battle against weight gain. I just can’t relate.
Marijuana found its way to Oxford like those calories found their way to my hips. I seemed to repel marijuana. I never had to deal with it. By the time it did present itself in front of me, I was old enough to be indifferent. I just can’t relate.
I can’t relate to flying down to Hollywood for a weekend to stalk Leonardo DiCaprio. I can’t relate to living in a marijuana haze in a camper for weeks. I can’t relate to paying for a lap dance for a male, let alone a female. I just can’t relate.
I read this book in small doses. I could only handle so much of her “rash and irrational” Tom Green-esque escapades at once. I found myself relating more to Oxford’s parents than I did to her. I sympathized with them and pictured them shaking their heads in a Tom Green’s parents-esque kind of way.
This was not the book for me, but it might be the book for you. If you like stories that could be preceded by “Oh man, remember the time we got so wasted,” this might be the book for you. If you are one of those insufferable skinny women who still run around declaring how fat you look in a bikini, this might be the book for you. If you like stories that include profanity and lots of capital letters, this might be the book for you.
Kelly Oxford has more than half a million followers on Twitter. In a recent Tweet, she wrote:
When people don’t understand me, I assume they’re dumb.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) August 28, 2013
Call me dumb.
Posted on September 11, 2013, in Book reviews, Books for the beach, Books I borrowed, HarperCollins, Humour, Memoir and tagged harpercollins publishers ltd, Kelly Oxford, leonardo dicaprio, Twitter. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.